A&W Introduces The New 3/9 Lb. Burger

In a classic example of Americans being awful at math, A&W’s 1/3 pound burger failed when it was launched in the 1980s. The reason? It was priced the same as the McDonald’s Quarter Pounder, but people thought it was smaller. So now, A&W has introduced a new burger with a very tongue-in-cheek spot…the 3/9 lb. Burger. Genius!

Taco Bell Interrupts This Pair’s Romantic Beach Moment

A group of friends is having a bonfire at the beach, when a guy and a girl exchange looks. As BLOW’s lush and lovely “Dancing Waters” plays, they split off from the group for a clothed frolic in the ocean. It’s romantic as hell. They’ve about to kiss, but then the bell. Yup, it’s time for Taco Bell. She leaves him on the beach confused. Because when you need a taco, you need a taco. And she wants the new Cantina Crispy Melt Taco. I’m a big fan of this ad…it’s some good tragicomedy. Anyone know who plays the couple?

T-Mobile Shows A Man Proposing With An iPhone 13 Pro

They’re at a restaurant, and he wants to ask her something. So he gets down on one knee, and she does not look happy. Then he pulls out…an iPhone 13 Pro. He got it at T-Mobile, and she looks relieved. She thought she was actually talking about “forever”…which he is in a way. See, it’s a value that lasts forever, since when you get the new iPhone at T-Mobile, the trade in value is locked in. So there’s going to T-Mobile together…hooray! The commercial ends with a short clip of Rick Astley’s “Together Forever.” Alix Elizabeth Gitter plays the attractive woman, and Cooper S. Lawrence is her boyfriend.

This Commercial Sucks: Credit Karma’s Free Gas Hack

This is just the worst. Even by “This Commercial Sucks” standards. And it’s constantly on as a YouTube/Hulu pre-roll ad. “Free Gas Hack!” will haunt my dreams. Shut up, Benny Knows! At the same time, I’m also curious who plays Benny Knows. I sure hope he’s less annoying outside of this Credit Karma commercial.

Liberty Mutual: DJ Liberty Remixes The Liberty Theme Song And Makes A Man Dance

Liberty Mutual customizes her car insurance, and DJ Liberty customizes the Liberty Mutual theme song. A throwback and a dance beat come on, which makes a guy busts a move. His Moonwalk is great and his Robot is pretty good too, but then some dorky dad dancing happens. This ad is rather dumb. Josh Breeding plays the dancer…and Alondra Lara is the attractive DJ Liberty.

Geico: This Couple Has An Animal In The Attic

They love their house…they’ve been there for years. But there is an animal in the attic. What kind of animal you ask? Animal, the wild drummer from The Muppets, of course! Animal loudly bangs on his drums in the attic while wildly yelling “Drums! Drums!” and “Animal!” He causes all sorts of frenzied mayhem around the house. Yeah, he’s fun, but I’m not sure I’d want to live with him. That said, it is a pretty great looking house…

Kia Helps This Writer Find Inspiration

This writer is having trouble with her script, so she decides to go for a ride in her electric EV6 (does that car like the heart in a blender song?) And that’s where she finds it…suddenly it’s Paris in 1736. We’ve got forbidden love and stepmother plots! The ad has absolutely impeccable costume design and music…anyone know who does the music? It was filmed in downtown LA, if you’re wondering. I think “movement that inspires” is a silly tagline, but this is an enjoyable watch, created by David&Goliath.

The Progressive Family Meets The Addams Family

This one has been out for a bit now, and I’ve avoided writing about it…but I keep seeing it, so here we are. Anyway, we get to see a CGI version of the Progressive gang meet and annoy a CGI version of The Addams Family. And The Addams Family 2 comes out on October 1st, because reboots are easy and Hollywood is lazy.

State Farm: Let’s Meet Patrick Mahomes At A Sneaker Shop, And Aaron Rodgers At A Music Store

With a new NFL season also comes a new season of football commercials. So let’s start with State Farm. Jake from State Farm runs into a guy who appears to be Patrick Mahomes, but is “just your typical sneakerhead” working at a sneaker shop for the employee discount. He’s also interested in the “Patrick Price” from State Farm, but when he finds out that anyone can get it, the kicks Jake was eyeing are now sold. And likewise, Jake from State Farm is at a music store where he encounters “an aspiring singer/songwriter with my bandmates” who looks a lot like Aaron Rodgers. The “Rodgers Rate” is good for anyone too, and soon that singer/songwriter dedicates one to his ex-best friend.

Oikos Has Forkable Yogurt That Inspires Karaoke

I get that Oikos wants to emphasize how thick and creamy their Greek yogurt is, but calling it “forkable” is just pretty lazy. Devour did a similar thing years ago (and it was lame back then too). The song used is Chris Isaak’s sexy standard “Wicked Game”, which gets spoofed in a yogurt-themed karaoke spot too. This one made me chuckle though, since she’s doing an earnest rendition which turns when a guy in the audience yells out “sing about yogurt!” The karaoke singer is played by Madison Claringbold.