Aldi: This Teenage Girl Has An Unfortunate Tattoo Of Kevin

That foot tattoo of Kevin is just brutal. Oof. I wonder if she went to the tattoo guy from that AT&T commercial. But as the girl’s mom explains, some things you can’t take back. Unless you went to Aldi, where their “Twice As Nice” guarantee means that if you’re not happy for any reason, they’ll give you a refund and replace it. The girl snarkily asks “why don’t you just return me then?” And mom snarkily replies that she didn’t come from Aldi. Burn! Are you annoyed by the mom’s chomping? A lot of online commenters are. Anyone know who plays mom and daughter?

Head & Shoulders Shows A Same-Sex Couple At A School Dance

In its new campaign “Headstrong”, Head & Shoulders presents a series of ads where characters stop doubting and are their true selves. I guess Head & Shoulders helps that by giving them flake-free hair. Anyway, in one, we see a teenage girl step out of a limo and give a corsage to her date. Her date, as it turns out, is another teenage girl. Elsewhere, a Patriots fan and Steelers fan put aside their sports rivalry to make out when they’re both on the Kiss Cam. The song playing is “Superhuman” by Campfire featuring Shane Eli.

 

Olay Brings Us Sarah Michelle Gellar In Their Horror Spoof Super Bowl Spot

One of the most anticipated and most teased ads this Super Bowl season has been Olay’s commercial with Sarah Michelle Gellar. Now the official version is finally here. Poor Sarah can’t unlock her phone with Face ID because she’s been using Olay. SMG has some killer skin. It’s an entertaining Super Bowl debut for both Olay and Sarah Michelle Gellar.

 

Febreze And Terrell Owens Want To Get Your Bathroom Super Bowl Ready

Because eating greasy food and drinking beer does not exactly portend pleasant smells for your poor bathroom. Luckily, Febreze is here to help. You’d better stock up on Febreze before it’s too late. T.O. is amusingly overdramatic here.

This Machine Only Dispenses Coffee If You Have Left Twix

Twix has been doing this Left Twix/Right Twix campaign for years. Which is your favorite? I have a hard time picking, since I think all Twix are delicious. Anyway, poor Dave (technically David) can’t get any coffee since he has a Right Twix. His female coworker with a Left Twix has no problem gettin’ some joe tho. David looks strangely like a more ethnic David Schimmer, and Bill the snarky repair guy is a hoot.

Hidden Valley Ranch Shows An Airport Security Chugger

Like any Midwesterner, I’m a big fan of ranch dressing. And I think Hidden Valley has the best ranch. But I’m probably not as much of a ranch lover as the woman in this Hidden Valley commercial. When she’s going through the airport security line and the TSA agent tells her that the bottle of ranch is too big to bring through, she just goes to town chugging it. Yum! Though considering the current state of the TSA, I wonder if the agent would even care. I’m thinking this one was probably inspired by classic tales of airport security chugging.

State Farm: Beige Betty Gets Passed Down

A woman named Kim just got her own car with her own insurance. No more driving that old hand-me-down for Kim! Her parents handed it down to Kim’s younger brother. We then cut to little brother’s birthday surprise…it’s an old Buick Roadmaster station wagon, nicknamed “Beige Betty.” He’s not thrilled. Pertinent question: is the little brother an entitled brat? The “Roadmonster”, unfashionable as it is, is also kinda a classic. Austin Zajur plays little bro, and Stephanie Fetzer is a real State Farm agent in Minnesota. Kim is played by Anna Lore,  the dad is Kevin Garbee, and mom is Jana Wimer.

 

 

Goya: This Man Sees The Most Incredible Chick…Peas

Well, this is a cute and wholesome commercial from Goya. A man is walking down the Goya aisle (are there American grocery stores that have an entire Goya aisle?), when he sees the most incredible chick. We think he’s talking about the attractive woman in front of him, but he finishes the statement and says that he sees the most incredible chick peas. Again, that grocery store has an ridiculously large selection of Goy Chick Peas. And they end up going on a date where he impresses her with his dish made from Goya Chick Peas. Or garbanzo beans as she calls them. I actually never realized that chickpeas and garbanzo beans were the same thing, but yeah. Anyone know who play the attractive couple?

This Commercial Sucks: Cricket Wireless Says “Hiyeeee!”

Hiyeee! There isn’t much to say about this Cricket Wireless commercial, other than that it’s really, really annoying. Biyeeee!

 

Devour Goes All In On Frozen Food Porn For The Super Bowl

Pretty much all of the big Super Bowl ads are released early online, and it’s been like that for years now. I generally try to avoid watching or even reading too much about them, because I still like to be surprised. But it doesn’t always work for me. Anyway, here’s one from frozen foods line Devour, which has positioned itself as sort of a “Hungry-Man for the modern man.” Devour has also become well-known for its raunchy advertising and this one fits right in. So much so that this uncensored version won’t be aired during the Super Bowl, and a tamer version will be in its place. What’s so naughty about this one? Well, it’s the story of a couple where the boyfriend is addicted to “frozen food porn.” We’re treated to some hot frozen food action, complete with a hidden stash and some suggestive forking. But it’s alright I guess, because now they’re watching amateur food videos together. It’s about as subtle as a sledgehammer, and it’s meant to be that way. I’d imagine even the tame version will ruffle certain people’s feathers, so I bet the world would really burn if they tried to put this dirty version on during the Super Bowl. Anyone know who play the couple in this Devour ad?

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