Ally Wants You to Love Your Bank

Banks aren’t really places you associate “love” with. Most of us have a neutral relationship with our bank at best, and at worst, they’re the assholes that charge you $35 for overdrawing your account by 10 cents. But Ally wants people to think about their banks differently.

Hilarious. This commercial doesn’t exactly say what distinguishes Ally from other banks, but the song sounds good, even if it isn’t “raging”. Of course, I’ve never actually seen an Ally Bank, so I guess I’ll miss out on the love.

Wanna Be “That Guy”? Bring Taco Bell To A Party!

At least Taco Bell seems to acknowledge the silliness of this ad.

Cincinnati Bell Deceived Me

I don’t actually expect anyone to remember this commercial, seeing as that it’s more than 15 years old and was only shown in the Cincinnati area (after being on YouTube for 2 months, it has a whopping 15 views). Yesterday’s post dealt with the ways that having speedy Internet on your phone can enhance your life. It’s easy to forget that in the frontier-like days of 1995, simply getting a hold of somebody could be a struggle. The only reason this one stands out is because of the jaunty tune, though it’s a pretty fascinating period piece (when’s the last time you saw a phone booth?).

In 2009, I was working at CVS. While spending hours stocking toothpaste and mouthwash, the cheesy Muzak became somewhat of a lifeline against boredom. One night, I heard a familiar song. Hey, it’s that Cincinnati Bell song, I thought. Then, I actually listened to the lyrics of this song by the Bee Gees. Hold up! It’s NOT about an innocent game of phone tag as I always assumed. It’s actually about a man trying to get a last message to his wife before he’s executed. What the hell? I felt so deceived. The naivete of childhood, I guess.

Verizon Users Won’t Find True Love

Last night, I was brainstorming some potential topics. One that came to mind was that utterly depressing ASPCA commercial featuring Sarah McLachlan. You know, the one with her very sad song “Angel” (which I would love to play on the jukebox at a busy bar, just for the reaction). This one. Later on, I decided to watch the episode of South Park that I recorded the previous night. Lo and behold, the opening scene is a parody of these commercials, with crack babies instead of animals. Dammit! I hate when I’m beaten to the punch!

Very tangentially, this has to do with tonight’s post about time. Watch.

This ad deals with the intriguing notion that everything in life is random, and if we don’t carpe diem right away, our chance might be lost forever. If these two people wouldn’t have met, the future 57th President of the United States would never have been born. And all of this was made possible by the man having quick Internet service on his AT&T phone. Of course, this commercial is more than a year old now, and the 3G service advertised is out of date. So he’d lose out on his woman, and generally be more like this poor guy.

Vampires Eat At Sonic Too

First, let me apologize for the lack of postage the last few days. A slight case of writer’s block and the need to watch a 19 inning baseball game have thrown me off. But here we go again.

This is…weird. I guess this takes Sonic’s approach of off-kilter car conversations over Sonic and brings it up a notch. Though the end seems to suggest that it’s viewer created, so that could explain some of the weirdness. Sonic’s overall marketing is brilliant though. The company advertises nationally, which means commercials are shown in places where the closest Sonic isn’t for hundreds of miles. This has a few benefits. First, it increases the chances that consumers will want to visit a Sonic while traveling. Second, it makes the chain more popular in new locations. I remember seeing Sonic commercials on Boston TV stations in college, and then the first Massachusetts location opened in August 2009 with waits of up to four hours.

But this ad and many of Sonic’s others remind me of a certain one-hit wonder.

Flashback: Crystal Pepsi Forever

When I was finding an old commercial of Cindy Crawford for yesterday’s post, one of YouTube’s recommended videos was for Crystal Pepsi. Crystal Pepsi came out when I was 6 years old, and it is one of the early commercials in my life that I remember vividly. According to Wikipedia, in the early ’90s, there was a marketing trend that associated clearness with purity. Crystal Pepsi was advertised as a caffeine-free clear cola that had a classic Pepsi taste. Pepsi put their big guns on the project, and created a Super Bowl commercial featuring Van Halen’s “Right Now.”

The commercial conveyed the excitement of a product that for lack of a better term, had a “right now” feeling. I convinced my dad to buy a bottle, despite the fact that I didn’t even drink soda at this point (the bubbles burned my tongue). Crystal Pepsi’s sales were good initially, but fell quickly, as consumers saw it as a mere gimmick. Anyone with the slightest marketing knowledge knows that it’s a huge effort to get people to change from an item with which they have a connection. Just look at the example of New Coke, often known as the biggest commercial flop of all time. So Crystal Pepsi went away almost as fast as it came. But don’t worry, if you watch enough ’90s nostalgia shows on VH1, you’ll inevitably see a segment about it.

Cindy Crawford’s Still Got It

During the supermodel heyday of the late ’80s-mid ’90s, Cindy Crawford was THE supermodel. I remember seeing her in some commercials when I was a kid. I thought she was very pretty, but when you’re 7 or 8, things don’t exactly…register the same way as when you’re older. I just saw this commercial featuring a now 45 year old Cindy Crawford, and yeah, she’s still got it.

Wow…super indeed.

Commercial Of The Summer Alert

I’ve been seeing this commercial for Weber Grills a lot the last week, and it’s very summery. You might notice that the song sounds strikingly similar to “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas. In fact, it’s by a band called Open Sky. Apparently, it was too expensive to gain licensing rights. Here’s the full version of the song. I like this ad. Despite my hatred of the Black Eyed Peas, this tune sounds great. And the dancing actually looks more fun than dorky. There’s a number of remixes of this spot on YouTube, along with the original, which has been around for more than a year. Weber should also be praised for its commitment to the American worker.

Bronson Arroyo Swings And Misses

This is apparently an outtake of a commercial Bronson Arroyo shot for a car dealership in 2006. Amusing.

Blast From The Past: Apple Jacks Makes Bratty Kids

I remember liking these commercials as a kid. These guys looked pretty cool and were able to sass adults, which was very cool. Now I have a different opinion looking at this as a twenty-something. Oh man this commercial is so 90s, with the angular moppy haircuts and flannel. And you don’t see milk cartons too much anymore. These kids are pretty obnoxious, and they have a high opinion of themselves. The “we eat what we like” was a good tagline for kids, who don’t really have any freedom and always have to obey authority figures. But now that I work with kids, it sounds a lot like the “I do what I want!” Maury-style entitlement, which was brilliantly parodied on South Park years back. It’s amazing how much your perspective can change.

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