Scott Shows Steph’s Toilet Paper Nightmare

Poor Steph. She’s on the toilet when her boyfriend calls her and knocks on the door. His parents are there. Meanwhile, there’s no toilet paper left. Will she have to use one of the nice hand towels? Clearly she wishes she had some Scott. DON’T RUN OUT is the message of this one. It’s a chuckler and I like the horror movie-esque music. Anyone know who plays Stephanie or the boyfriend?

Optimum Says “We’re Not Teachers”

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times and but mostly uhh…times were just OK.” You know who said that? Susan B. Anthony. Uhh duh, it was actually Charles Dickens. The Optimum employee is clearly not a teacher, but she’s a connectivity expert. This one made me chuckle. The song playing is of course Simple Minds’ classic ’80s tune “Don’t You (Forget About Me).” Anyone know who plays the Optimum woman? I haven’t been able to find it on YouTube yet, so for now here’s a link from iSpot.tv.

https://www.ispot.tv/ad/6pJI/optimum-were-not-teachers

Geico: This Woman Has Bangs

According to this Geico spot, Geico makes car insurance easy. As easy as reinventing yourself after a haircut. We then see a woman confidently strut about after deciding that she wants bangs. “Ms. J” encounters some of her old 3rd grade students playing basketball in the park. She’s changed…she has bangs now! And then she proceeds to dominate the kids in their game. Who’s next? The song is “Hello Hello Hello” by Remi Wolf…anyone know who plays Ms. J?

Manscaped Grooms “The Boys”

Well, this is a memorable commercial from Manscaped, the maker of overpriced male grooming products. I could go into more detail, but just watch if you haven’t seen it before. It’s certainly juvenile, but do you think it’s funny or just disgusting? Put me in the “yeah, it’s pretty funny” camp. Does anyone know the name of the song?

That Wendy’s Commercial With “Sandstorm”

March Madness is rapidly approaching, and so the Wendy’s crew is getting hyped up by blasting “Sandstorm” and offering the Dave’s Single (apparently the official burger of March Madness) for just $1 in the app. $2 for the Double if you’re feeling hungrier. That’s a great deal, though it seems like Wendy’s just wants to make you forget about them proposing to do one of the dumbest things ever.

Quaker Says “You’ve Got This” In This Emotional Commercial

The whole “journey through life” formula of advertising has certainly been done before, but it’s one that always seems to elicit an emotional reaction. Here, Quaker follows the lifelong relationship between a father and son named Jake where oatmeal plays a central role. I’m probably not spoiling too much by saying that Jake eventually has kids of his own, and his dad’s seat at the table becomes empty. And he and his son bond over Quaker oatmeal. It’s getting a little dusty in here. As an aside, those look like massive bowls of Quaker oatmeal. The song is “Fever To The Form” by Nick Mulvey. Here’s a bit more about the spot.

Progressive: These Homeowners Have An Annoying Ghost

Mara is showing Progressive’s HomeQuote Explorer to these homeowners. They spent a lot on their kitchen. Then suddenly, a creepy old-timey figure chimes in. Sorry, it’s their ghost. He’s more annoying than anything. Too bad there’s mold behind the backsplash, he says. Guess how much he originally paid for the fireplace? 23 bucks…materials and labor! They got bamboozled!

Golden Corral’s Butterfly Shrimp Loving Guy Does The “Shrimp Bot”

“So what’d you get?” asks a hungry Golden Corral diner to his friends. One woman got two Nashville Hot Tenders and three Mandarin Orange Tenders. Another got three Classic Tenders. But he got four Butterfly Shrimp. Four of a kind…he wins! And then he celebrates by doing the “Shrimp Bot.” In an alternate version, his friends help themselves to some of his delicious Butterfly Shrimp (to which he protests that he’s “not the buffet.”) And in yet another version, he channels his inner Jack Nicholson and says “you can’t handle the shrimp!” I’ll update this with cast info if I find it.

DiGiorno: Why Is This Mom In A Dark, Empty, And Seemingly Closed Grocery Store?

She just got new DiGiorno Classic Crust Pizza! So smart! Made with half a pound of toppings…so many toppings! It’s deliciously that only tastes expensive…such a no-brainer! But does the saucy voiceover combined with the fact she’s all alone in a dark, empty, and seemingly closed grocery store make this one feel uncomfortable? Not to mention that suggestive pose on the conveyer belt and with the barcode scanner. Anyone know who plays the mom? The YouTube comments keep talking about this commercial being woke, because that’s the world we live in now. Sigh.

Allegra: This Woman Sings “Bulletproof”

It’s February 17th, which means that spring is just over a month away. I love spring, though not the allergies that it brings. But allergy season is no worry for this headphones-wearing woman with main character syndrome who yell sings “Bulletproof” by La Roux as she walks around her neighborhood. It’s actually a great song, but I’m not a big fan of Allegra woman’s rendition. The reaction from YouTube comments is very polarized…what do you think? And anyone know who the woman is?