Tuesday Throwback: Taco Bell And “I Melt With You”

Modern English’s “I Melt With You” is a classic ’80s song that’s widely considered to be one of the best (some say the best) one-hit wonders of all time. It’s a romantic, catchy tune about making love while an atomic bomb is dropped (the ’80s really had some great songs about nuclear war). Anyway, in this 2007 commercial, Taco Bell took “melt” in a different direction to advertise its Cheesy Beefy Melt. The peoples’ stupidly happy faces are amusing, and the Grim Reaper enjoying a Cheesy Beefy Melt with a middle-aged man on a park bench is darkly hilarious. I feel like I also remember “I Melt With You” being used in a Burger King commercial when I was a kid, but I can’t find that anywhere.

Advertisements

Tuesday Throwback: Sony’s Shining Star

I was recently in a store, and heard a song that sounded familiar. The song was “Shining Star” by The Manhattans (who strangely enough, formed in Jersey City). The reason it was familiar is that I remembered it from a commercial maybe 10 years back. I wasn’t quite sure what the product was, but I thought it was something like a camcorder. A little Googling, and I found this…

First off, was 2003 that long ago? Because this commercial seems really dated (“Alright, let’s pop in the DVD.”) Definitely more of a ’90s feel. I guess Sony’s DVD Handycam was a pretty new thing back then. That said, it’s a totally cheesy and totally cute ad. Aww, teenage love. Aww, the bratty little sister. And a nice touch from the parents, maybe thinking about themselves in high school. This is the type of commercial that’s easily hateable, but I just can’t. I’m a bit of a softie.

Just For Men Brings The Cheese: Part II

Over the years, Just for Men has had some really corny commercials. This is the second part of an ongoing series.

The commercial actually starts off kinda sweet, with a pair of young girls encouraging their father to rejoin the dating pool. But the curious mind in me wonders what happened to the mother. Was there an amicable divorce? Did she die? Run off with the pool boy? I WANT THE DEETS! Then, the ad takes a ridiculous turn when the girls suddenly bust out the Just for Men. First, let’s ignore the fact that they would inevitably buy the wrong shade for the dad. It’s obnoxious that these girls learned at such a young age that their father would only be successful at dating if he got rid of the salt-and-pepper.  Some women might like the fact that he’s a single father with two young daughters. Or that he seems like a good guy. Not everybody is that shallow, people. And the whining “please?”. Ugh.

So his date goes well. I think they all might be getting their hopes up a little. We’ve all had great first dates that turned into festering pieces of shit by the second or third. He sends a picture and “YES! I’m glad we did it!”. The final high-five and happy reaction might be the worst commercial acting I’ve ever seen. Mrs. Fletcher has got nothing on those girls.

Rerun: Just For Men Brings The Cheese

In the spirit of summer reruns, I give you a re-post of something I don’t think got enough views in its original version. Enjoy!

Over the years, Just for Men has had some really corny commercials. There’s been a lot of them, but here’s one of the worst offenders.

So here we have a pretty lady knocking on the door of a middle-aged man, asking for some milk. He immediately starts thinking lusty thoughts (“yeah, I’ll give YOU some milk”). He goes to the refrigerator and there’s a beer, but NO MILK! Panic sets in not only about the lack of milk, but also about his age-appropriate hair color (“oh no, I’m kinda grey! That must mean she won’t have sex with me!”). So he goes for the gusto, jumping off his balcony and somehow landing on top of a moving truck. Just For Men is a responsible company though, and there’s a bottom of the screen warning against jumping off your balcony onto a moving truck. Even if it’s for a woman, it just isn’t worth it!

Now if I was the woman, I’d be getting a little concerned at this point (“I’ve been standing here for almost 5 minutes…what is he DOING?”). At the very least, I’d be creeped out and move on. At the worst, I’d be running for my life. But anyway, our wannabe Casanova finally makes it to the store, which just happens to have a ridiculously in-stock supply of Just For Men. He quickly finds his shade and goes to check out when he suddenly realizes HE FORGOT THE MILK! But then our hero gets the milk, somehow gets back into his place undetected, colors his hair, and delivers the crucial dairy product to his potential paramour. She smiles, bites her lip, and I can only assume they go on to eat some Cap’n Crunch and have intercourse for the next 4 hours.

I know fantasy and wish fulfillment plays a big role in advertising, but this is just silly. This commercial could use a Chappelle’s Show-like reality check. Maybe the guy would fail at his daring jump and his bloody corpse would litter the street. Or he could be in such a hurry with his Just For Men and milk that he forgets to pay, and is tackled by LeRoy, the burly security guard. He would be hauled off to jail, and the woman would be left crying in front of the door (“WHY? WHYYYY? All I wanted was some MILK!”). If only.

Just For Men Brings The Cheese

Over the years, Just for Men has had some really corny commercials. There’s been a lot of them, but here’s one of the worst offenders.

So here we have a pretty lady knocking on the door of a middle-aged man, asking for some milk. He immediately starts thinking lusty thoughts (“yeah, I’ll give YOU some milk”). He goes to the refrigerator and there’s a beer, but NO MILK! Panic sets in not only about the lack of milk, but also about his age-appropriate hair color (“oh no, I’m kinda grey! That must mean she won’t have sex with me!”). So he goes for the gusto, jumping off his balcony and somehow landing on top of a moving truck. Just for Men is a responsible company though, and there’s a bottom of the screen warning against jumping off your balcony onto a moving truck. Even if it’s for a woman, it just isn’t worth it!

Now if I was the woman, I’d be getting a little concerned at this point (“I’ve been standing here for almost 5 minutes…what is he DOING?”). At the very least, I’d be creeped out and move on. At the worst, I’d be running for my life. But anyway, our wannabe Casanova finally makes it to the store, which just happens to have a ridiculously in-stock supply of Just for Men. He quickly finds his shade and goes to check out when he suddenly realizes HE FORGOT THE MILK! But then our hero gets the milk, somehow gets back into his place undetected, colors his hair, and delivers the crucial dairy product to his potential paramour. She smiles, bites her lip, and I can only assume they go on to eat some Cap’n Crunch and have intercourse for the next 4 hours.

I know fantasy and wish fulfillment plays a big role in advertising, but this is just silly. This commercial could use a Chappelle’s Show-like reality check. Maybe the guy would fail at his daring jump and his bloody corpse would litter the street. Or he could be in such a hurry with his Just for Men and milk that he forgets to pay, and is tackled by LeRoy, the burly security guard. He would be hauled off to jail, and the woman would be left crying in front of the door (“WHY? WHYYYY? All I wanted was some MILK!”). If only.

%d bloggers like this: