Rerun: Trojan Brings The Awkward Vibrations

This was a funny one. Originally written on May 10.

Moving back home after you’ve been on your own in college is a decidedly mixed bag. The negatives are obvious. There’s the stark realization that making it in the real world is more complicated than banging together a paper a few hours before it’s due. There’s the depression that comes with the feeling that all of your friends are doing better things in better places. And most scary is the thought that you’ll be one of those people still living at home when you’re 40.

But there are advantages as well. Since moving back, I’ve rediscovered the joy of eating square meals on a regular basis (and put on a little weight as a result). I’m not paying rent, so I don’t have the periodic panic sessions about if I can afford this month’s expenses. But maybe the most gratifying change has been the ability to have an adult relationship with my parents. Their role is more a friend and mentor now; they try to steer me in the right direction, but let me make my own decisions.

That said, even with a more open relationship, there still are spots of awkwardness, particularly with my mom. Certain TV ads bring this out. I’m not talking about those commercials for ED or Trojan condoms; those have been on for so long that they don’t even register anymore. I’m more talking about this.

I had seen this one before, so when it came on and my mom was in the room, I was smart enough to change the channel. Really it’s not that notable, except for one part. The acting of the women is quite cheesy, but I think that’s to be expected. But one word brings this makes this commercial ridiculous: Su-weeet! There’s even a chopped and screwed type remix on YouTube.

So why does this guy think his woman’s new trifecta of gifts is so su-weeet? Maybe he just doesn’t like spending time in that area. Maybe he’s happy that she’ll have something to do when he’s out icing his bros at the local Beef-N-Beer. Maybe he’s secretly gay. Maybe the couple is into something a little freaky-dekey that I didn’t want to think about but just did (ew). But seriously, it’s a VIBRATOR dude. It probably means you’re not doing something right. If my girlfriend or wife was that excited about getting a Vibrating Triphoria, I would likely spend the next few hours on Google, trying to get better at the good stuff. But that’s just my opinion. And I’m single, so what the hell do I know?

About joshw24
34 year old guy. Into sports, pop culture, advertising, and trivia among other things.

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