Burger King Stacks The Odds Against Healthy Eating

Wow, that’s cheap. My waistline probably thanks me for not living near a Burger King anymore. Now I’m not one of those people who’s opposed to fast food…most of it is pretty tasty. But the few times I’ve eaten BK Stackers, I always felt like shit soon after.

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Overrated Baseball Players Debate Shaving

If you’ve ever wanted to see Jonathan Papelbon and Nick Swisher argue about whether the Philips Norelco SensoTouch 3D is better for wet or dry shaving, this is your lucky day.

For more information, you can visit greatshavedebate.com. I was about to make fun of anyone who visited that site, but it has a coupon and a sweepstakes contest, so it might actually be worthwhile.

Bing + Facebook = A Winning Combination

I’ll admit that I had never gotten on Bing before seeing this ad. But it’s a very smart collaboration. Your friends are often the first people you ask for recommendations, and the commercial amusingly describes why they should be trusted. It also further solidifies Facebook’s dominance over social networking. Remember at the beginning of Facebook when the main purpose seemed to be finding out your crush’s favorite movies and who were in your classes? Seems so long ago. Honestly, I think Google will still be my go-to search engine, but at least Bing is in the picture now.

Despite Their Commercials, Miller Lite Still Isn’t Manly

I’ve spent an embarrassingly large amount of the last 4+ years in bars. In preparing for this post, I suddenly realized that I have never knowingly seen another guy drinking Miller Lite. Bud Light and Coors Light? Yeah. Miller High Life? Uh huh. But not Miller Lite. Perhaps gaining this key demographic is why Miller Lite has the “Man Up” campaign currently running. If beer companies were really honest, they would highlight the main attributes of light beer: it’s dirt cheap and goes down like water so you can drink them all night. But with MADD, those pesky “please drink responsibly” announcements, and maybe even a little social consciousness, these don’t happen. Anyway, on to Miller Lite’s latest:

Ridiculous. The beer cart girl at your local golf course does not look like that. And your friends won’t treat you like a woman for not ordering Miller Lite. In fact, with enough beer in you, you might chase them with your club and show them who’s a man. Though I do confess a certain liking for the snarky bartendresses (I like my women with some sass). But really, the series is just getting old. Man up, Miller Lite. Find a new pitch. This one isn’t working.

Twix Knows Me

A lot of you reading this probably know nothing about me, and to you, I’m just a unknown entity behind a computer. I think the protagonist of this Twix ad reminds me more of myself than anyone I’ve seen on a commercial.

Love it. And the follow-up is pretty much me too. Twix is also the best candy bar on the market (honorable mention: Milky Way and Snickers).

Just For Men Brings The Cheese: Part II

Over the years, Just for Men has had some really corny commercials. This is the second part of an ongoing series.

The commercial actually starts off kinda sweet, with a pair of young girls encouraging their father to rejoin the dating pool. But the curious mind in me wonders what happened to the mother. Was there an amicable divorce? Did she die? Run off with the pool boy? I WANT THE DEETS! Then, the ad takes a ridiculous turn when the girls suddenly bust out the Just for Men. First, let’s ignore the fact that they would inevitably buy the wrong shade for the dad. It’s obnoxious that these girls learned at such a young age that their father would only be successful at dating if he got rid of the salt-and-pepper.  Some women might like the fact that he’s a single father with two young daughters. Or that he seems like a good guy. Not everybody is that shallow, people. And the whining “please?”. Ugh.

So his date goes well. I think they all might be getting their hopes up a little. We’ve all had great first dates that turned into festering pieces of shit by the second or third. He sends a picture and “YES! I’m glad we did it!”. The final high-five and happy reaction might be the worst commercial acting I’ve ever seen. Mrs. Fletcher has got nothing on those girls.

Kingsford Makes Grilling Seem Glum

I know what Kingsford is going for in this spot and “slow down and grill” isn’t a bad tagline, but this one just seems very depressing to me. The people are smiling and seem like they’re having a good time, but the tune is a total buzzkill. What’s next? Jeff Buckley’s “Hallelujah”? (an amazing song by the way but not so jaunty). I was going to draw a comparison between Weber’s ad that’s been getting a lot of airtime (I wrote about it here), but then I realized that comparing commercials between gas and charcoal grilling isn’t the best idea. But still. Kingsford…your charcoal makes for tasty barbeque, but stop making me feel sad.

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