Verizon Apparently Lets Your iPhone Get Reception In The Ocean

12/6 update: The official video got pulled and is private now. Presumably because Verizon’s some bitches. So I have this bootleg version…turn your volume up because it’s quiet.

At first, I thought this Verizon commercial was funny. I especially liked the desperate “OK, everybody take your pants off…we’re gonna fashion us a makeshift raft” line. But the more I’ve seen it, the dumber it’s seemed. Some thoughts:

They’re floating in the ocean, do you really think all of their phones would come out unscathed? Also, they all have iPhones?

I’m lucky to have never been in this situation, but when you don’t get reception, can’t you still call 911? When I don’t have bars, that E means emergency mode. That seems like a 911 situation.

Is that Velma from Scooby-Doo?

Jack sounds like he’s making a personal call for someone to get him. I sincerely hope whoever he’s talking to will rescue the others. If not, Jack is a huge asshole.

The Verizon map only shows where you get service on land.

 

The Droid Razr Looks Like It Could Kill Somebody

On Friday 11/11/11 at 11:11 AM (make a wish!), the Droid Razr by Motorola will be introduced. I won’t be buying one, but this is definitely a buzzworthy type ad. It’s a teaser, so you don’t get much information about the phone. But it reminds me of the video for Korn’s “Freak on a Leash”, one of my favorite of all-time.

Verizon Has Perhaps The Worst Commercial Currently Airing

Yesterday, I asserted that AT&T beats Verizon in advertising. This is a prime example.

Awful. Just awful. I don’t care about this woman and I certainly don’t want to hear her rambling thoughts.

Did Frankie Muniz Travel Back In Time For This Verizon Commercial?

I’m somewhat notorious for thinking people look alike when nobody else does but…

this kid looks JUST like Frankie Muniz. Right? Somebody back me up, please? YouTube comments say his name is Tyler Steelman and he was on “The Suite Life of Zack and Cody”. Whatever though, he still looks like Frankie to me. I should also add that this commercial annoys the hell out of me, and the YouTube screengrab on this page amuses me.

Verizon Users Won’t Find True Love

Last night, I was brainstorming some potential topics. One that came to mind was that utterly depressing ASPCA commercial featuring Sarah McLachlan. You know, the one with her very sad song “Angel” (which I would love to play on the jukebox at a busy bar, just for the reaction). This one. Later on, I decided to watch the episode of South Park that I recorded the previous night. Lo and behold, the opening scene is a parody of these commercials, with crack babies instead of animals. Dammit! I hate when I’m beaten to the punch!

Very tangentially, this has to do with tonight’s post about time. Watch.

This ad deals with the intriguing notion that everything in life is random, and if we don’t carpe diem right away, our chance might be lost forever. If these two people wouldn’t have met, the future 57th President of the United States would never have been born. And all of this was made possible by the man having quick Internet service on his AT&T phone. Of course, this commercial is more than a year old now, and the 3G service advertised is out of date. So he’d lose out on his woman, and generally be more like this poor guy.